Detox Days 4 and 5.

If I had a personal chef, I would eat like this all the time. Well, except for a couple nights a week. And maybe one brunch. Last night's steamed salmon was sick, as the kids say about that which is totally awesome. I can't take credit, as the recipe came from my new best friend Gwyneth's website, but I need to share.

Steamed Salmon with Fresh Herbs and Kale
(Mille mercis à Gwyneth Paltrow Martin.)

I thought I didn't have a steamer, but the ever-generous worldwide internets informed me I could take a trivet, put it in an inch or so of water in a pot, place a plate on top of that and place the food to be steamed on top of the plate. I was going to do that, but then I realized I did have a steamer, kind of like this one. Hooray! I do not have a fancy steamer, like this one, but I won't be getting one because I don't think fancy is always better and I don't even have room for the new juicer I bought earlier this week. Huh. Actually, I kind of want one now. Maybe we should remodel the kitchen to create more storage space. WWGD*? I used to have one of these, but had to throw it away after my kids destroyed it doing something involving Legos and little plastic guys that I didn't understand. But I digress.

As instructed, I lined the bottom of my steamer with fresh herbs, whatever I had on hand, which happened to be basil and mint. I chopped up a green onion and put that in, too.

I laid the two salmon fillets (TF has jumped on the bandwagon, mostly because he doesn't want to cook for himself), skin side up on top of the herbs and onion. That's all I did. Really. I let them steam for 11 minutes, exactly as instructed, because I am not a rule breaker**.

After 11 minutes, I added torn kale, backbones removed, and steamed everything for another 7 minutes. I served it after drizzling lemon over the salmon and a little balsamic over the kale. The recipe didn't call for balsamic, but I figured Gwynnie wouldn't mind, because the diet included balsamic in some other dish. It was so good, TF and I decided we will never prepare salmon any other way. I can't wait to try it on Sunday night with another kind of fish, quinoa, and roasted squash. I do plan on cheating again and using a little olive oil to roast the quinoa just the way I like it. Wait, I don't even think that's cheating, because I'll need olive oil to roast the squash and olive oil was on the menu earlier in the week. I. Love. This. Diet.

For lunch, I ate all the veggies I wanted dipped in the delicious carrot and ginger dressing. Radishes were my favorite. For dinner, TF and I had cucumber and avocado soup, which we plan to enjoy in the summer with a side of boiled shrimp and a bottle of prosecco.

I can't wait to go to the All-Local Farmer's Market at Rosewood Market tomorrow and act all superior go nuts smelling all the produce. I'll look like a freak, and not for the first time. Try it. S'liberating. Vegetables smell so good to me this week. Might have something to do with the absence of caffeine and alcohol in my diet. Dammit.

Namasté, y'all!

* What would Gwyneth do?

** That's not entirely true. I'm not a flagrant rule breaker. The other day, I ran a stop sign, not 100 feet from my house, right in front of a sheriff's deputy.

"WHOOP!"

The siren sounded and I pulled over, knowing exactly what I had done and very embarrassed. My children, of course, were in the car. Rather than pull in behind me, he pulled to my side window and said something like,

"Ma'am, I know a lot of people roll through stops like that, but they don't usually do it in front of me."

I apologized profusely, feeling like a complete idiot, and thanked him. He told me to be more careful and left. When we pulled into the driveway, one of my kids (do you really expect me to keep track?) said,

"He let you go because you were polite and told the truth."

So I guess we're teaching them something. Even if it is something they learned when they were in the car the last time I got pulled over after almost taking out a mail carrier. But they should also know that sometimes you don't get a ticket because it's 5:30 pm, the guy is on his way home and traffic tickets aren't really his problem. And some deputies are very, very nice. Thank you, sir!