Detox Day 1.

Don't expect a post about this every day. First of all, that would be boring. Second, I might be too weak to post. Third, I might give up.

I woke up this morning and drank my lemon water. That was pretty good. I like lemon water. I looked forward to my 10:30 am smoothie. I hated it. Why was it so vile? Blueberries, protein powder and almond milk sounded pretty good. It tasted dusty. I had to hold my nose to drink it, as it didn't taste at all like those fancy smoothies in restaurants. Maybe because it didn't have any tequila. Who knows? Perhaps the vile, vile slop was meant to put me off food forever. Drinking it reminded me of being pregnant, when you know you have to eat - because it's good for you and you're hungry as hell - but nothing tastes good. Blech. I actually didn't finish it. Lunch looks promising - some of that delicious ginger dressing over avocado and mixed greens. Later, I get to eat a handful of pumpkin and sunflower seeds. I wonder which of my friends has the biggest hands, because I plan to invite them over for a snack.

Right now I'm sipping herbal tea with lemon, which is actually decent. I can't believe I don't have a raging headache from going without coffee. Maybe I still have enough left over in my system from yesterday. How long until it wears off? I feel scared.

Speaking of stuff I put into my system yesterday, I ate movie popcorn, a last hurrah before detoxifying. There's nothing really wrong with that, except it gives me a rash. And I eat it anyway, because it's movie popcorn. What is my problem?

If detox chat is less than entertaining, perhaps you'd like to listen to me on the radio, as a guest of Marti Bluestein who hosts Chick Chat, a segment on Frank Knapp's program, "U Need 2 Know." Click here for witty repartee. Marti and I suggested to Frank that the world might be a better place if we were allotted a full hour and could invite friends. Although he wasn't unpleasant (is he ever?), he didn't seem to be rushing to give us the hour. What the heck?

Namasté, y'all!