What ever happened to the gentlemanly punch to the nose?

As you may or may not be aware*, I've been watching Mad Men. As a no-tv owning freak, it takes me awhile to get on the bandwagon of new shows, but when I'm in, I'm in. I download an entire series and watch them back to back, like the junkie I am.

I love Mad Men for a lot of reasons - the clothes, the furniture, the diabolical plotting, the window into the sixties, the punching. Whatever happened to the gentlemanly scuff? You know, when one gentleman insults another - or even better, a lady - and the other gentleman punches him in the nose to defend his own or the lady's honor? They scuffle for a moment, two other gentleman pull them apart and tell them to let it go and they apologize. The apology is curt, but the fight will be forgotten, because everyone got to make their point. Ideally, they should be wearing well-cut suits (but nothing too flashy) during the altercation. That helps keep it sexy.

I don't advocate violence, but the quick punch to the nose and subsequent handshake seems so much quicker than long, drawn out grudge holding. Plus, there's something very un-sexy about a guy who holds a grudge. It makes it seem like he cares a little too much, hmm? A quick jab on the chin is much more efficient - and guys look so hot just before and after a punch. That applies to the punchee, too, you know. Just before, he looks so brave, knowing what's coming, because the gentlemanly punch never comes out of nowhere. That would be cheap. Just after, he looks pretty hot because, let's face it, there's something sexy about a guy who can take a punch in the nose without crying. And his hair is just a little messy, his tie askew...rowrrr!

I think what's really hot about the quick jab is that it's completely devoid of passive aggression, especially when followed by a handshake. Passive aggression is not sexy. No sir, not at all. In fact, I think one of the greatest things about being married is having someone to hold your grudges. I can be eternally mad at someone who wronged my dear husband, thereby allowing him to be all studly and magnanimous about it. He does the same for me - although I'm not studly, thank goodness.

So, fellows, how about it? Let's bring back the gentlemanly jab. Bonus points if you're wearing a tuxedo, even more points if it involves a dinner jacket. Bonus, bonus points if you pull out a white handkerchief to wipe the trickle of blood from the corner of your lips. *Swoon* And if you happen to be the punchee, take it, well, like a man. If you must punch back, don't be too aggressive about it - then you risk the opening of the proverbial can of whoop-a**. That's just tacky. Throw the punch, apologize and get over it. That's hot. Just don't call me if you get arrested.

Namasté, y'all!

P.S. I've just realized this entire post makes me seem like a complete freak. Which I probably am. Oh, well.

* Depending on how much my life interests you.