Can I just have one day of nothing?

I want a day of nothing. I want to wake up in a silent house, stay in my pajamas for a while and drink coffee in bed while I check email and watch television. I don't have a television, but this is a fantasy, right?

I love television so, so much and so does my husband. We love it so much, we can't have one. We love it so much, we'd probably marry it. And we're already married to each other. I knew we had to let it go when I ended up shrieking at him after he interrupted my third attempt to watch Kirsten Dunst in one of her finest pieces, "Fifteen and Pregnant," on one of those lady channels. I just wanted to know how it turned out, dammit.

Now we get all cracked out over Netflix. My husband has been known to call me from work to find out if his movie came in. I download endless episodes of television shows from their instant download thingy - Law and Order (in every incarnation), Coupling (Do I get credit because it's British?), Leave it to Beaver. I get desperate for a fix. I think they invented instant downloads to try to suck us back in. That stuff is like crack for someone like me. By the way, Ward and June are pretty good parents. Instead of reading all those boring parenting books, just watch a few episodes. You'll learn a lot. Promise. They really know how to talk to the Beaver*.

But I digress. The day of nothing. I think every parent would like one. Having children has made me a much more efficient person. I can get more done in thirty child-free minutes now than I could in three days pre-kids. Really. Maybe I should have had them in high school, or at least college. I would have been a much better student. If only I had seen the rest of "Fifteen and Pregnant," I might have known if it was a good idea. Maybe I just need a television. My heart rate actually goes up when I think about missing the new 90210. Maybe I don't need a television. Huh.

Namasté, y'all!

*That's what she...never mind.