Diet Soda Nirvana

One thing I love about our pool club is how cold the Diet Cokes are. And the Diet Dr. Peppers. The fact that they have Diet Dr. Pepper at all is pretty awesome. Diet Cheerwine would put me over the edge. I'm glad they don't have it, because that much joy in one lifetime would really be too much to handle. I think I owe a debt to all the carb-conscious tennis players out there - the ones who like diet drinks and want them really cold. They also have Mich Ultra and, lo and behold, Diet Canada Dry! I have recently discovered that Diet Canada Dry and Bacardi is really a nice summer beverage. But I digress.

There are things you share in a marriage, sacred things that no one outside of that sacred pair can ever understand. Many years ago, my then-boyfriend* and I were en route to a U2 concert in Clemson, South Carolina. We were coming from Rock Hill, South Carolina, traveling down small highways all the way.


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Before we got old and had to watch our figures, we used to always have cold Diet Pepsi's and Cool Ranch Doritos on road trips. It's a testament to our deep commitment** that we were willing to eat something so halitosis-inducing on the way to a public event. Obviously, we only had eyes for each other...and breath, I guess.

We stopped at a country store for our snack, my sweetheart reaching deep into an old, ice filled cooler for two Diet Pepsi's***. We opened them, with far less ceremony than we would have, had we known that they would be the Coldest. Pepsi's. Ever. They had thin flecks of ice across the surface. You cannot recreate those flecks in a freezer. I've tried, many more times than I should have. If a scientist could pinpoint the exact moment at which Pepsi becomes flecked with ice and could invent a machine that would achieve that moment, at the mere flick of a switch, they would win a prize. It would be a big, shiny prize, awarded by the Daily Digress for Lifetime Achievement. And I would pay at least $74 for a machine like that, but I would appreciate a little discount, since I awarded the prize and all.

The concert was pretty good, too, but we never talk about that. I vaguely remember some sort of grocery cart theme. We do, however, occasionally look at each other dreamily and think of the Pepsi's. Sometimes, one of us says it out loud. Other times it's understood. That, ladies and gentlemen, is love. Isn't it?

Namasté, y'all!

* Foreshadowing! I said then boyfriend, which implies he isn't my boyfriend anymore. But I was just talking about husbands and wives, so...guess who I married? Aren't I clever?

** More foreshadowing! Eh, I'll go ahead and tell you. My then-boyfriend is my now-husband. Awww...

*** This is bugging the crap out of me. I know that the correct plural form of "Pepsi" should be "Pepsis," but that doesn't look right at all, so eff it. "Pepsi's" it is. Besides, "Pepsis" is a bug genus. Ew.