All the best husbands are funny, even when they're annoying.

My husband really irritates me. I'm happy for you if your life partner never annoys you, I really am, but I kind of think you're missing out. The laugh that kills your irritation is the best. I think it's similar to the feeling described by "some guy I used to hang out with." He said he liked getting tattoos and...um...even a brand* because it felt good. He claimed that the euphoria he felt when the pain was finished was incredible. So, yeah, my husband annoys me that much. Good thing he's funny.

Once (m'kay...maybe more than once), I told him I hated him. He giggled girlishly, twirled and shot out of the room, calling, "Ha, ha! I know you love me! Heeheeeeee!" There's actually no way to describe how funny it was. Well, there probably is a way, but I'm not writer enough to do it. You'll have to use your imagination. He was wearing a towel. Does that help?

My husband has a very annoying habit - more annoying even than my habit of telling him I hate him. Every time I say something**, he responds the same way.

"Huh?"

Even when he is listening, he assumes he's not. He's so sure he's not paying any attention to me that he's confident with the "huh" before he takes even a split second to consider whether or not he heard me. And sometimes he actually listens, maybe 17.6% of the time or so. A long time ago, I decided to experiment. After his "huh?", I count down from five, waiting. More than half the time, he responds to what I actually said, without the repetition. Cool. Huh?

I'm fascinated by the expression "Do what?" It kind of means "huh?" but there are variations.

"We're going to the store. Need some more ciggies?"

"Do what?" This is the "I didn't hear you. Could you please repeat?" type. Pretty much the same as "huh?"

"I was up at yer cousin Lula's place the other night and I mighta' had a few too many. But if you hear anything from Lula, she's lyin'."

"DO WHAT?!" Can you guess what that one means? Something like "I heard you and I didn't care for what you said. I do hope I misunderstood. Please explain before I have to crack this here fryin' pan over yer damn fool head."

Today after lunch, I informed my husband that "Do what?" is my new response to everything he says. I'm tired of him pretending not to listen when he's secretly fascinated with everything I say. "Do what?" is the new "Huh?" So, he said something - I don't remember what - and I responded.

"Do what?"

And he responded.

"Huh?"

This made me laugh so hard I could hardly drive. Guess you had to be there.

Namasté, y'all!

* Yup. Like a cow. There are many, many reasons I'm glad I ended up with my husband and not some of the other possibilities.

** Really. Every time.