Local 10 Year Old Has Best Week Ever

A local 10 year old boy is having what will quite possibly go down in history as his Best Week Ever.

On Monday, he tried out for a soccer team on which, unlike previous teams sponsored by the YMCA, he was not assured a place. Frankly, this made his mother very nervous, but he approached the situation with confidence. What made his mother even more nervous (and guilty for sort of rooting against her son) was what she learned form another, more on-the-ball parent at the try-outs, namely that the team cost an a** of money to join. The 10 year old boy was unaware of this conflict however, and was thrilled to learn on Wednesday that he had made the team. He made the B Team, but any disappointment was alleviated by the fact that the team will be playing in an older age group, because there weren't enough kids for a team in the boy's actual age group. This worries his mother, but the 10 year old has no fear. The numerous practices each week also worry his mother, but she has decided to simply cross that bridge when she comes to it, because the team means a lot to him. She's already scheming and planning to sucker other parents into driving her kid a carpool with several of his teammates.

Also on Wednesday, the former 9 year old actually turned 10, celebrating the night before with a casual dinner for family at his home. This casual dinner for sixteen was prepared by his mother, with no small amount of stress. Thursday brought more birthday fun for the now officially ten year old, with a pizza and cupcake party at school. By this time, the 10 year old boy's mother was really dragging, after staying up late the night before making the cupcakes, from a mix but kind of a pain nevertheless.

Thursday afternoon, brought more excitement for the 10 year old boy. His mother, in a panic, typed his six-page, single-spaced autobiography, which she had promised to do, but forgot. Time was of the essence, as Friday was the last day of school. Although she enjoyed reading the story of his life, she was floored upon reading a sonnet he had also written and wanted her to type. He was thrilled when it was chosen for publication on The Daily Digress. Because his mother is so ridiculously proud of him, you can read it now.

Sonnet 10

Love is so very wrong for me.
I do believe it is wrong for you.
So I will tell you, you will see
It is like an animal zoo.

All you do is kiss and hug.
Isn't that quite boring?
Maybe your girlfriend gave you a mug.
Isn't romance for night, not morning?

For a date you go to a play.
Your girlfriend simply loves your shirt.
She says, "Your eyes are like a Blue Jay."
"Thank you." And you and your girlfriend flirt.

So romance is weird, you see.
If you do, you're just like me!

His mother, although possibly biased, believes the sonnet demonstrates a wisdom and humor beyond his years. She particularly enjoyed hearing him read it out loud, with humorous inflection.

Friday was the final day of school for the ten year old boy. He enjoyed a pool party with his school friends afterwards at one of their houses. Although his little brother, by virtue of being related to him, was invited, their mother still felt pretty guilty for being "that mom." "That mom," in this case ditched her seven year old at the party to be watched by other parents so she could go home and sit around while her baby napped. In her defense, her seven year old is a strong swimmer, she more or less asked permission before leaving him and he would have pitched a fit she couldn't handle if she hadn't let him stay. Thankfully, the other parents at the very small school understood.

Late Friday afternoon, as his mother took her first shower all week in preparation for the company coming for dinner that evening, the ten year old was taken to Game Crazy by his slacker father, who allowed him to purchase a game rated "T" for Teen. Although the ten year old boy is most definitely not a teen, he was allowed to keep the game after a phone call to Game Crazy yielded the information that the "T" rating was for bad language (which the ten year old has heard, recently) and a little bit of blood when a skateboarder falls. The ten year old boy is familiar with blood resulting from falling. Plus, it's fake blood and his mother was too tired to argue.

To finish his Best Week Ever, the ten year old is leaving for a trip today on an airplane with his maternal grandparents. This is very, very exciting, but his mother, father and two little brothers who idolize him will miss him very, very much for the three days he will be gone. Bon Voyage!