Ahhhh...Perfect Happiness.

There are times in life when I experience great, indescribable joy. Today, ladies and gentlemen, I experienced that joy. I've finally found the ultimate apple corer, and I didn't even know I was looking for it. It's always annoyed me that it's so hard to remove the core from an apple corer once the apple has been cored. By the way, why do we say "core" an apple when we actually mean "decore"? I guess it's the same as husking corn or pitting cherries. Must be a food thing. The other day, I went to the mall. I don't like the mall, because I do my best to shop local businesses. But my sister had to go to some big box store to get some sort of satellite radio thingy installed in my uncle's BMW and it's rude to order someone else to find someone local to do the job, especially if you once had someone local install some stereo thingy in your BMW and, in the process, they destroyed the air conditioning, which somehow ended up costing you three thousand dollars, but I digress.

Once at the mall (innocently, because it wasn't my idea!), I had to do a little bit of shopping. I needed some more dear john face cream, which I can only get at the mall, so I got that. While I was in the store, I happened to see a pair of high-heeled, eggplant-colored, patent leather Mary Janes, which I had to buy because they were on super clearance and, as far as I know, I only have one other pair of purple heels. And I had to go into Williams-Sonoma, even though I prefer the Gourmet Shop or Mary and Martha's, because they do cooking demonstrations and often have free samples and I'm always hungry. They didn't have any samples out, which irked me, but manners (and a tiny bit of shame) forced me to browse for a minute. Lo and behold, I saw an apple corer on the wall. It was like no apple corer I had ever seen before. It had a little plunger thingy to get the core out once the apple has been cored. No more sores from removing cores! Hooray! I introduce to you my brand new, Calphalon, ten dollar apple corer:

And tonight I made an apple spice cake, which is far less tedious now that I have my fancy apple corer. In fact, this recipe can now be called easy, so here it is.

Easy Apple Bundt Cake

In a big bowl, mix the following:

1 1/3 cups all purpose flour.

1 cup whole wheat flour.

1 1/4 cups sugar.

2 teaspoons baking soda.

1 teaspoon salt.

1 teaspoon cinnamon or nutmeg, if you're making it for my mother in law, who despises cinnamon.

6 cups peeled, cored(!) and chopped Granny Smith apples.

1/2 cup oil.

1/4 cup honey.

1 teaspoon vanilla.

2 eggs.

Mix it all together at low speed, just until all the dry ingredients are moistened. If your mixer is almost as old as my husband, which mine is, you may have to use medium speed. Now mix it a little bit more, maybe a minute or two. Let your kids lick the beaters while you stir in a half a cup of chopped walnuts or pecans. Make sure to unplug the mixer before you let your kids lick the beaters. Trust me on that one.

Grease a bundt pan. I mean an old school bundt pan, none of this new fangled, no-stick nonsense. Here's mine, with the cooked cake in it:


Dump the batter into the bundt pan and cook it at 350° for 50-60 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let it cool for a while in the pan before you turn it out or it won't come out in one piece. It'll still taste good, but you might be sad. If you ignore my advice and dump it too soon and it comes out in chunks, all is not lost. Serve hunks of it warm, topped with vanilla (or butter pecan!) ice cream and caramel sauce. You could also serve it with some greenery and tea cups, like this:


Namasté, y'all!