I'm going to Yoga this afternoon and we went out to eat last night, so I thought I'd make dinner ahead. I hate coming home from Yoga all blissed out and having to try to cook, which I enjoy, with hungry people clawing at me and punching each other, which I don't enjoy at all.

This recipe came from a recipe in a stupid book that I bought for a quarter at a library sale, "Eat Well, Lose Weight While Breastfeeding." Dumb title, dumb book. The author makes losing weight while breastfeeding way too complicated, outlining specific nutrients that you MUST HAVE! OR YOUR BABY WILL DIE! OR TURN OUT DUMB! OR HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! She's also convinced that you should determine how much you eat based in part on how big your baby is. Which is dumb, because I'm pretty sure I needed to eat more or the same to feed my three and a half pound baby (who needed to eat all the time) as I did to feed my other two larger, but not as hungry babies. And I lost weight all three times, at more or less the same rate. Anyhow, I think new mothers have enough to worry about without calculating micrograms of vitamins and exact calorie requirements. Ladies, my advice is to eat what you need, eat whole foods and exercise as much as you can without being a nut about it. Not that you asked. And I wouldn't presume to tell you, because there's already enough unsolicited advice in the world for mothers. Just do your best. Or not.

So, the recipe in the book is for Salmon Croquettes, also pretty good, but not what I want right now. And they call for green peppers, which are vile, and some kind of yogurt and dill dip, which is one more step than I want to take. I need to write my recipe down, so I can get rid of the stupid book already. I've had it for 9 years and I only use one page of it. That page is really crusty, though, so I don't think I can donate the book. Not that I'd want to, because it sucks.

Crab Cakes

Into a bowl, dump the following:

1 pound of crab meat. I usually buy the reasonably fresh kind in a jar in the seafood section, but I've used fresh off the boat and I've used canned, and they're all good. I just go by my budget at the moment.

1/2 cup panko bread crumbs. Big shocker, I'm lazy and buy the kind from the store. You can make your own really easily, though, which I've done in a pinch, by throwing crackers or toast into a food processor. My mini food processor works great for this and it isn't a pain to clean. If you get the ones form the store, try to find some without gross stuff, like MSG, high fructose corn syrup or extreme amounts of salt.

1/4 cup mayonnaise. I like Duke's and you should, too.

About a half a cup green onions, chopped. Red onions or even yellow are good, too, but chop them really tiny.

About a half a cup of chopped red bell pepper. Yellow or orange is fine, too, but red is prettiest. The vile green ones are not allowed.

1 egg

One little glop of mustard (more than a teaspoon, less than a tablespoon) I like Dijon mustard, but any old mustard will do, unless it's something weird, like Tarragon mustard.

One little glop of hot pepper sauce. I think Tropical Pepper Company's Tico Papaya Curry is particularly good, but I don't really care what you use.

Blend everything together really well. Sprinkle about a quarter cup of breadcrumbs (add more as you need them) on a plate. Make balls with the crab mixture (whatever size you like. I make about 6 total, because we have this as a meal), roll each ball in the breadcrumbs and gently flatten it on a cookie sheet. Cook at 350 for about 15 minutes, longer if you like them crispy.

You could also fry them, but that's a lot messier.

I like to wear plastic gloves to finish mixing the stuff and to shape and roll the balls. It's less messy and the mixture holds together better than if you just mix it with a spoon.

If you're in the mood for crispy, greasy, thin crab cakes like you get in some seafood restaurants, these are not for you. They aren't fried, but they are super yummy. I like to serve them with Chipotle Dip from Rosewood Market, but they're good just sprinkled with lemon juice too.

Tonight, we're having them with roasted okra and eggplant. And maybe a salad. And a bottle of Sumarroca Cava.

Namasté, y'all.